Nepal Ipod Case and Salsa Sun Chips.

So me mum brought me an ipod case that her friend Glenn brought me from Nepal.
I was eating Salsa Sun Chips with Bilbs and showing it to her and then we went off on a tangent much brought up in my conversation vocabulary. This convo i have with many many people i just can't not talk about it.
Okay so the real reason i wrote this blog.

Have you ever wanted something so bad you would hurt yourself and your relationship with God?
Alright well i have and most people sadly know that.
The thing is though is that the thing i have wanted for the long long while i finally got last night....err well morning.
So i got it right???Righty-o
Did i expect? Yes, like i expect to wake up the morning breathing.
But the thing is, is that i don't think i got what i needed.
Well i know i didn't but you know?
i had wanted something for so long that once i finally got it i don't know how to handle myself.
Like this morning seriously i wanted to cut my hands off, throw up, and then cry myself to sleep, and then sleep till high school was over. Err well at least for this year.
I know it sounds depressing but i feel disgusting for what i have done. At least this time less people will find out.
I'm kinda cut up and bruised....man this sux.
Things will get better though they will they will....but for now i think i'm going to take a shower.