Mother Nature and Vonage.

Until now i never realized i had an addiction.
I was talking to some at Shay's surprise party and someone was like you have got to deal with you addiction.
Why hadn't anyone told me before that i was wrong.
I know i know i know.
Well i guess i really don't.
Thats actually good news.
My next little adventure is learning to trust God with more things and telling him some things.
I know he already knows but he needs to hear it from me.
I now can rest some more.
I am sooooooo tired from the party of a lifetime!!!=D
Talk lat-yaah.

Mustaches and Bloo.

hi billie and michelle.
oh by the way michelle your a jerk.
i will not clean your house any longer.
i'm leaving for good.
but i think i will make a stop in the kitchen first.
i'm really hungry.
i think i have a disease that makes you really really hungry all the time even if you eat.
like i just ate a piece of pizza and twenty maybe thirts minutes later my stomach is growling.
i hope i don't have cancer.=D

Baseball and Aphrodite.

Have you ever wondered how you fit into someone else's life?
I often wonder this.
People seem to be really wishy washy about friends.
Like one day you and I can be the most besty of best friends and then the next you won't even acknowledge my existence. I wonder if i'm that way or if i'm clingy or if there is something wrong with me. I can just never know. I probably will not ever know.
Just sometimes i wish i could.
Oh well maybe better luck next life.
Or well you know what i mean.

Necrophiliac's and Febreze.

What is it about Mondays that automatically puts people in bad moods?
I mean honestly i'm having a really good day then you come a long and have to be dumb.
Oh well...i guess.
It's okay that you are having a bad day i understand i have those too.
Way more than i possibly should considering i make myself have bad days.
You know screwing up really isn't as fun as it seems.
Like to day i was thinking about something i have done and what have they brought me?
Addictions to circumstantial pleasure?
Most importantly what has it done for me and God besides me just messing up and having to ask for forgivness.
Nothing, well at least nothing good.
It is time for me to pull things together and i think one thing that will assist me is getting you out of my life.
You know who you are and you know what you have done.
I really wish that i could get myself out of my life but thats a bit more difficult.
The most sad thing of all is that later to night i'm going to be hoping that you will call.
I am going to be waiting around for any sign that points to you caring for me differently than any of your other "people".
I can't wait till your gone and i can start to put my life back into place.
When i think about you sometimes it's utter disgust but sometimes it's really not it's wow i wish i was with you.
I guess it will be this way for a while unless i'm either dumb again or i smarten up.
For the record, i'm not a necrophiliac and i am in love with febreze.=D
Goodnight my lovelys.

Dinosaur Dust and Mason Jars.

Wherever i go
Whenever i leave
I want you to know
You can never see me.

I know we have been through many trials together
But now it's time for us to be never.

So wherever i go
Whenever i leave
I want you to know and understand
You can never see me.

Nepal Ipod Case and Salsa Sun Chips.

So me mum brought me an ipod case that her friend Glenn brought me from Nepal.
I was eating Salsa Sun Chips with Bilbs and showing it to her and then we went off on a tangent much brought up in my conversation vocabulary. This convo i have with many many people i just can't not talk about it.
Okay so the real reason i wrote this blog.

Have you ever wanted something so bad you would hurt yourself and your relationship with God?
Alright well i have and most people sadly know that.
The thing is though is that the thing i have wanted for the long long while i finally got last night....err well morning.
So i got it right???Righty-o
Did i expect? Yes, like i expect to wake up the morning breathing.
But the thing is, is that i don't think i got what i needed.
Well i know i didn't but you know?
i had wanted something for so long that once i finally got it i don't know how to handle myself.
Like this morning seriously i wanted to cut my hands off, throw up, and then cry myself to sleep, and then sleep till high school was over. Err well at least for this year.
I know it sounds depressing but i feel disgusting for what i have done. At least this time less people will find out.
I'm kinda cut up and bruised....man this sux.
Things will get better though they will they will....but for now i think i'm going to take a shower.