Creepy Men and Sunrise Tans.

Sleep is good i suppose but why do we continuously waste the hours that don't have light.
I would rather sleep all day and then get up at night.
I think that, that should be a holiday. We should try that some time.


This night is winding down but
Time means nothing
As always at this hour
Time means nothing
One final final round cos
Time means nothing,
Say that you’ll stay
Say that you’ll stay

Sorta my new philosophy i guess you could say.
I have begun to learn that i need to just roll with the punches and you know it really doesn't matter what people think.
If you don't want to talk to me fine.
If you hate me fine.
If you feel like kissing me...make sure you don't have herpes.
But my door is always open just let me know when your entering.
You know what this means?
Right now it's 12:30 i can go walk around my neighborhood and not wear pants.
i can go knock on your door and know that it doesn't matter why i'm there it's that i came.

Well the creepy guy i'm talking to his picture reminded me of that and there was a commercial for Sunset Tans but why then and not sunrise tans.
i think we all need a sunrise.
Everyone deserves something they don't get.
Like i don't get sunrises and i saw like 3 in may and they were colossal for my health.

Times means nothing.

titles and khilko.

what is church to me..............
well first off what you were saying.....i know you feel bad but.....do i?
i don't know if i do.
well yes i feel bad for john.
but my intentions weren't to leave the church....or were they?
i think that i really did want to go to a different church not to leave ours but to get a different perspective...have some change.....what did the change bring me?....did it really bring me anything or would everything be that same???
questions..........

yes i do feel bad that john feels that way...do i get what your saying yes.
were my intentions to leave the church no.
i can't say that anything would or wouldn't be different.
i need change or at least i want it.
but i feel that nothing really can change .....for now in my life i really don't think that things can change.


as i get closer to one thing i et father from another and one friend to the other....when will it stop when will i get to a happy medium...will i ever was that my purpose....

i do like some parts of our church but the others i could do without....like the gossip and the drama and the lying....and the guilt trips for not doing something....have i ever been the cause of some of things.....most likely do i wish that i could take them back????yes...






this is to someone else but i never could make you see it but i've never loved anyone more.

Birthday Cake and Micheal Phelps.

While eating some of my just now 19 year old brothers birthday cake i was pondering over recent events in my life.
I thought there was only one person in my life that i could ever look at the way a lover looks at there love. During my thinking process i thought of the way you touched me. The way you looked into my eyes and my heart melted and a smile spread across my glowing with joy face. You made me realize that there are more fish in the sea. I think Theodore Roosevelt once said that......or if he didn't i guess kara can have the credit.=D
There are so many fish it's not even funny. Now that i have gone through the trials i have i can look at my future love interests with different eyes. Eyes that have seen. I can listen with ears that have heard. I have seen and heard more than any other should.
But....what is the line? What is the line to where you start hearing things you shouldn't?
I can almost say there are the moral lines but i think it is truly when you can't handle it yourself.
Sorry i got a little side tracked.
All in all i wanted to give you Micheal Phelps gold medal and thank you for your i guess you could say enlightenment.

Crushed by the Weight of the Ocean.

I feel like little pieces of my heart are left everywhere that i have gone with you.
The way you are making me feel i feel my soul dying with each day you come around.
I wish you could understand what it's doing to me.
Since this has started my whole life has changed......for the worse.
I am almost to the point where i wish i had never met you.
I feel over the year i have basically lost my best friend.
I gained one more in an almost replacement but yeah it's weird.
I ultimately feel like i have lost myself.
I have parts of my life that have been completely wasted parts of my life on you.
Something about you has changed me.
This isn't the change i needed.
I have open wounds within me you rip open everytime i see you.
I hate that i have to love you like i do.